PART IX: “Sibling Ribaldry”
Granting Noah and his sons His favor and kind words of approbation, God said: “Fructify! Multiply! Fill this world! All animals on land and all flying birds, all crawling land animals and all fish will affright at your approach! Into your hands I am committing all such animals. All living things I sanction for your culinary consumption, as, too, any and all growing plants. I forbid you only carnivorous consumption of “living” animal blood. For your own blood, too, I will insist upon just solatium. I will insist upon it from both wild animals and humans. And how I will insist upon it from a homicidal criminal! Such a criminal will pay in kind for his killing! Anybody who spills human blood, his blood humans must spill! For all humans carry God’s own imprint, a Godly capacity for moral distinction. But you, fructify and multiply… Multiply and swarm throughout this world!”
And God also said to Noah and his sons: “I am making a Pact with you and with your offspring, and with all living things along with you: birds, farm animals, wild animals, too – all animals coming out of your ark – all animals living in this world. I will maintain My Pact with you: annihilation of all living things through flooding shall not again occur; I shall not again bring about a cataclysmic flood of global proportions.” And God said: “And this is a sign of My abiding Pact with you and all animals along with you… As a sign of My Pact with all this world, I am putting a (rain-) bow in its cloudy sky. Upon noticing a rainbow in a cloudy sky, I shall grow mindful of My Pact with you and all living things, and annihilation of all living things through flooding shall not again occur. I shall look upon that rainbow in a cloudy sky, that I may thus stay mindful of this abiding Pact with all living things in My world.” And concluding, God said again: “This is to signify My Pact, which I will maintain with you and with all living things in this world.”
Going out of his ark with Noah was a trio of sons: Shaym, Ham, and Jafith (Ham is Founding Patriarch of Canaan). All nations of our world spring from this trio, Noah’s sons.
Noah, practicing husbandry (that is, Noah was a horticulturist in his post-diluvian days), was first to plant a vinic crop. Noah drank of his grog (intoxicants, alcoholic potation: vino, vin du pays… Chardonnay, Malaga, Port, Chablis, Sparkling Burgundy, Moscato d’Asti, or possibly Sangria). In a bacchanalian bibulous bout (of biblical proportions), Noah drank to intoxication, uncloaking his nudity within his canvas lodging. Ham, Founding Patriarch of Canaan, saw his Dad’s nudity, and mockingly told his two siblings about it. Shaym and Jafith dutifully took a cloak, holding it aloft and walking backwards, facing away so as not to look upon Noah’s nudity, and laid it upon him. Noah, awaking from his stupor, found out what his young son (a child, that is to say, of but slight moral standards) did to him. Noah said: “Confound that Canaan! A lowly, ignominious thrall who will labor slavishly in subordination to his siblings!” And Noah also said: “Glory to my Lord, God of Shaym; Canaan is his thrall! May God show His favor to Jafith, providing him lodging among Shaym. Canaan is his thrall!”
Noah saw 350 additional birthdays following God’s flood, finally passing away as an old man of 950.